More Motorbikes Please

Laos
We head further north to Luang NamTha, only another nine-hour cramped twisting turning ride to a tiny town known for trekking into the Nam Ha Conservation Area. Zoom in and look at the squiggles required to get here. If the ride wasn't enough, within the first day, I come down with some serious jungle fever (that's the technical term for "I have no idea what's wrong but woah"). By the end of Day Two, draped in wet bandannas to cool down, we're contemplating the quickest and least painful path to a real hospital which is in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Ugh remember the squiggles? Double ugh. Ryan is the best nurse in the world and making me as comfortable as possible. When he goes out in search of a mango shake for me, he gets so excited about finding gluten-free mushroom risotto in this little town, that he brings it back as if I can exist in the same room as that smell. So sweet! So not happening. Day Three my fever breaks, so no squiggles while sick needed, phew! Ok, so what does the outside of our room look like?

We ease into activity with local walks around the town, to the stupa, monastery and through rubber plantations. At the stupa we meet these lovely girls who don't speak much English but the one on the right cannot stop hugging me! We're talking full arms around my waist, hanging on, really adorable childlike clinging hugs. It's so sweet but we just finished hiking, I cannot imagine that my soaking wet with sweat shirt is something pleasant to cling to. Oh the power of love!
The prettiest rooster to date.
It's so cool to see the rubber trees actually producing rubber! We saw the empty bowls on our very first hike to a waterfall in Bang Niang, Thailand in January. And now look at the little bowls all full of bright white rubber. It looks like ricotta cheese... mmm so many cheese cravings over here in Southeast Asia, but I digress. 
We level up activity to an overnight motorbike trip through Nam Ha to the tiny town of Muang Sing. There aren't too many long connective roads up here in Northern Laos, making the HUGE shipping trucks a regular surprise around narrow blind turns. So many bananas shipped!  

We are incredibly lucky to be here at this time of year because pineapple season is in full swing and these pineapples are blowing our minds. If there were a "falling off the bone" equivalent for fruit, it would be these pineapples. So juicy and sweet and just $0.62 each. We pull over at a minority village where there are fifteen women gathered with their piles of identical pineapples next to each other as if you have any idea how to make a choice between them. Whoever starts cutting up a pineapple first wins! We buy two and scoot on for all of 50 feet as the skies open up and it's poncho time. It is RAINING, parts of the road are rivers but "we're Vietnamese" and ponchos make us invincible so we're cruising.
Ahead we see a family of three pulled over, soaked to the bone and shivering. We pull over to try to help and charades that they are out of gas and we can siphon some of ours to get them out of the rain. We go to grab our keys to unlock the seat for our gas tank and the keys are not there............ Umm, what? How is it possible that we are riding our bike without keys in the ignition?! Now we're in trouble in the rain as well; worst helpers ever. They recognize we're in trouble too but they give us money to bring them gasoline. Luckily their key works to start up our bike and we head back the direction we came ever so slowly, searching for our lost keys on the wet pavement. Low and behold, we come up to our poncho spot some two miles back and our keys are right there!! Yahoo!! From now on, we start the bike, remove the key (because apparently we can do that and still drive) and put the key into Ryan's zipper pocket. We buy gas from our pineapple ladies and deliver it to the family. By now the rain has passed, they're wringing out their clothes and all is well. It's a truly beautiful ride. 
The whole team is out planting rice.
Found some Lennon glasses!
More poncho time. 
Muang Sing is an agricultural hub for Laos being so close to the Chinese border. We explore hill after hill of banana trees, cassava roots, rubber trees, rice and watermelon. 
We watch girls playing a game that involves a stretchy string held high between two of them. A third girl comes and tries to jump up, catch the string on her foot to push it to the ground while she spins over it. It's impressive stuff. Here we find the remedy to the typical Laos breakfast of boring noodle soup, that's almost like Vietnamese Pho minus all flavor: pork rinds. These crispy salty "croutons" just made breakfast so much better. But Muang Sing has the best noodle soups in all of Laos regardless. We head back to NamTha and get ready for our trek into Nam Ha. 





Leap to Luang Prabang

Laos
After five days of riding, our bums are sore and we're exhausted. We decide to hop, skip and jump all the way from Pakse up to Luang Prabang for some R&R. The sleeper buses in Laos are double-deckers with not-quite-twin beds that count as two seats. If you're on your own, you will be snuggling with a stranger.

Straight up, I hate the top of double-decker buses. They wobble too much, making me motion sick and allowing my doom and gloom imagination to think up scenarios for tipping over. I was on a Mega Bus between DC and Philly a few years ago when instead of going into Philly, the bus takes us close to the airport, pulls over and stops. Passengers get angry quickly since we can see the city skyline but aren't moving towards it. In typical Mega Bus service style, the driver doesn't announce what's going on, maybe he's into mysteries. Frustrated I need to know, so I hang out with the driver until he spills the beans. Ever since an accident where the bus ran into a low bridge decapitating four people in the upper front row (!!!), the buses have sensors alerting the driver of any low bridge in the area. They have to pull over and wait for a Mega Bus person to come guide them through safely. File that under: Things I Wish I Was Blissfully Unaware Of. 

Needless to say, I'm not excited when I realize that not only are we upper deck, we're FRONT ROW BABY! Ryan's pumped since it's the best seat in the house... I on the other hand, examine the cracks across the huge fishbowl of a windshield and proceed to have the first anxiety attack of my life. Here I am shaking, tears streaming down my cheeks, unable to calm myself down. Luckily we've picked up a few medicinal helpers for these overnight bus rides and as I wait for that to kick in, I try to shut out the world. I put on my eye mask so I cannot see my fears. My latest set of headphones just broke, so I wrap my phone into a bandanna and tie it to my head with the speaker in my ear so I cannot hear my fears. And I bury myself under Ryan to feel protected, still shaking and crying, waiting for sleep to come. I'm aware how absolutely insane I look and I just don't care. 
Surprise surprise we made it!! Well at least most of the way. Groggy, we hop onto a minibus for the second leg of the trip. This part of the journey is just as harrowing but for different reasons. The winding mountain roads are under construction so there are extra obstacles to maneuver around. At one point the driver charades that I get out and lead him through the obstacles. From my new vantage point on the rainy road, I can see the road is actually split, as in there is a foot-wide crack in the pavement and into the earth below. But this is all just a normal day here in Laos, we hop the crack and keep on keeping on. 
We are so excited to be in Luang Prabang. Everyone has told us what a magical place it is and how much we're going to love it. Well... sorry to crush any dreams out there, and our own, but this city just isn't for us. It is beautiful and quaint, but it's expensive for backpackers which is limiting. Even motorbike rentals are over double what they were in Pakse, where the only tourism is motorbiking and they can determine whatever market price they want. We are instantly frustrated but we remember that our focus here is rest and relaxation. My newly found "Zen Coloring Book" is a welcome aid for said R&R. I sit in my less-than-stable chair and learn to pull the table in and out to refill my bottomless tea.
SUPER IMPORTANT SIDENOTE: This week of rest is punctured by hard hitting news from back home. Three days in a row we wake up to the deaths of Alton Sterling, Philando Castile and five Dallas officers. If you're as angry, disgusted, disillusioned and flat out scared of the injustice in the US as we are, please get involved in the Injustice Boycott to start on December 5th. Protests aren't causing the policy change that's needed, but together our consumer dollars have great power. Joining now will keep you in the loop as plans develop. If you know of a business, organization, charity, religious group, or institution that is interested in affecting social injustice, please send them this form for involvement information.

History will have to record the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people."
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  
Please sign up and be the change. Thank you!!!

Otherwise, we fill ourselves at the night market with grilled everything and sticky rice from bamboo steamer baskets. Head to the impressive Tad Kuang Si and watch the playful rescued Moon Bears. These bears were living in cramped cages where they're kept alive only to be drained of their stomach bile, a substance used in Chinese and Vietnamese medicinal practices. One of the bears was without her arm but that didn't slow her wrestling match down. Then there is the lazy instigator bear, poking at the wrestling bears from the safety of her platform. It's a beautiful place, but we're ready to head back to the countryside. 

On Our Own

Bolaven Plateau
We're in love with traveling by motorbike. It gives you sweet sweet freedom when you're otherwise relegated to taxis, buses, trains, basically other people controlling your route. We head to Pakse which isn't an exciting town, but it's the jumping off point for a motorbike loop around the Bolaven Plateau, famed for its waterfalls and coffee that was considered the "champagne of coffee" during the French occupation.

We rent our bike from Miss Noy's as everyone has told us to do and quickly realize why. They have a briefing every night to go over details including route options, lodging options, which waterfalls aren't worth the entry fee and which places are known for stealing motorbikes, even beating you up for it if needed. Quality information! As you can see I took lots of notes and continued to add to it as we went. I love maps! 
Ryan thinks it's overkill but when we meet a guy on the southern route at waterfall #4 who thought he was on the northern route and had yet to see a waterfall, the value of that briefing becomes very apparent. I made sure the lost guy took a picture of my self-detailed map. 

With our laundry dry, we're ready to go! 
As we drive onto the plateau, the temperature drops, the soil is so red it's almost purple which is so beautiful against the rich greens and deep blue grey's of the rainy season sky. There are mountains all around and tiny roadside stands full of pineapples. Most homes here have personal gardens, as in colorful flower gardens that are just for enjoyment and not a stream of income. Seems like such a great luxury that we haven't seen before.
We start with Tad Itou (tad means waterfall) but it's not too exciting since we can't get very close. 
Then Tad Fan although far away, is an absolute dream. We watch as the clouds roll in and out, hiding and revealing the falls over and over again. Now you see it. 
Now you don't. 
Tad Champi is down a road we were told not to bother with, just walk it because it's way too muddy and the most drivers get themselves into trouble. That obviously doesn't mean us. We (really Ryan) earned our challenging motorbiking badges throughout Vietnam and say, "We got this, we're Vietnamese!" And we did until the hard packed, slightly wet dirt became like a banana peel and we fell over in the slowest motion possible, giggling the whole way down. Pretty sure I left a butt print somewhere in that mud. 
Rainy season means that the typically safe and dry path is a little more challenging, but totally worth it. 
This is a sad waterfall for us. We lost a member of our travel family today. And by that I mean one of our Camelbak water bottles fell and cracked on a soggy wooden deck... What?! How did this happen?! These puppies are supposed to stand up to so much more than soggy wood. What's gone is gone. Le sigh.
Tad Yuang is a much more popular place where the top of the falls is a lovely picnic area. Going anywhere near this fall required ponchos or an acceptance of being drenched by the mist in minutes. "Mist" doesn't come close to describing the power of the spray from this fall. 
Ryan made friends with a fly that allowed him to transfer it between his hands and even touch its wings! Maybe the fly just needed to dry off from that mist but this was not your typical insect encounter. 
We make a pit stop at the CPC Cafe (Coffee Producers Cooperative), a cafe collaboration between local small farmers as well as an educational garden. I ask for the "Fresh Tea" and watch as she goes and plucks leaves from the diverse garden. She muddles the leaves with some sugar, blends them with boiling water and serves it with local honey from the town of Tad Lo (a town named after its waterfall). Ryan gets a local Laos coffee and just look at these beautiful drinks we receive. I want to plant tea in my backyard so this can be in my life on a regular basis. 
A big rain hits and we poncho-up and decide to drive through the next town and another 30km to a good launching point for Day Two. We ride out of the storm within twenty minutes and it tries to catch up to us the rest of the way.  
By the next day, we dried out and are ready to take off but when we ask about an ATM location, we're pointed back to that town we skipped through 30km ago... Of course I asked about ATM locations at our Miss Noy briefing and was told they are everywhere. Apparently that's everywhere but here, 30km back or for the next 75km. Ok, back we go. Good thing this country is so gorgeous so we don't mind seeing it again, and again. 
Back on track with Tad Alone. 
Tad Tayicsua is actually two falls from two separate rivers close to where a total of three rivers converge. We hike into the jungle feeling like ants under huge banana trees and rock overhangs until the first fall reveals itself. It's HUGE! The plant life is so lush and beautiful, clinging to the massive cliffs. And that mist again! 

We hike over to where we think is the second waterfall. Ryan's hiking ahead of me and hears our water bottle hit the ground, when he turns, he doesn't see me anywhere... he hears, "I'm ok but I need help!" I had slipped on a rock, went to catch myself on a mound of dirt and that dirt gave way, spinning me around to fall upside down into a hole between three boulders! By my klutzy luck, I put my arms out and was safely cradled by a nest of roots, avoiding injury. Ryan found me in a somewhat helpless struggling beetle-on-its-back position and thankfully removed me quickly instead of taking a picture as I was starting to spaz over the proximity of bugs to my face. This path didn't lead to the falls, but a butterfly hung out with us for a while to make sure I was ok.
We hike back to the top, overlook the rainbow in the valley and see the other falls through the jungle. Now we just have to get there.
I would venture to guess that the trail to this guy was retired several years ago. It's really steep, almost entirely a mud slide and all the bamboo rails are broken on the ground. We got this, we're Vietnamese! 
We head to Tad Faek, our last waterfall of the day, through valleys of coffee plantations.
Thankfully we have a short drive without waterfalls for Day Three. The hiking and biking was exhausting and our bums are sore. We put on our less than clean clothes and go to a minority village of the Katu people where we meet the real live Captain Hook! Ok his name is just Hook but he has enthusiastically embraced the western reference. He has a fascinating backstory, but it's not mine to share. The main point is, Hook is western educated and is back in his village working with an NGO to teach tourists about his people and their crops. His education and experiences differentiate him from the rest of his village. They believe he holds bad spirits so he's not able to participate in their ceremonies. 

Hook teaches us SO MUCH about the history of coffee that when he's finished and asks if we have any questions, Ryan asks, "Do you know more about coffee?!" He shows us a plant you can blow bubbles with, one you can make a small spear out of and berries chewed for belly issues that are probably the worst things I've ever tasted. We walk by the forest where women go to give birth and meet some young boys, one is already married! We notice that many of the houses in the village are rather new. Hook explains that when the government offered electricity to the village, they mandated that houses could only hold 80 people or less so they had to build smaller ones. Previously houses held up to 160 people. Most of the time we're talking, Hook has half of his face inside of a water pipe, smoking tobacco mixed with sugarcane juice heated by a coal. Most men begin smoking these enormous pipes at three years old. With Hook's western experiences, we're able to have really open conversations with him. We only move on as it's getting dark and we have more road to travel.
By the time we get to Tad Lo (the town not the waterfall), I'm sick again so I don't have much faith in those berries. Or maybe this is how they work their magic... At least the view from our room is beautiful.
I'm feeling better after a very lazy morning so we hop on the road again starting with the Tad Lo waterfall.
To get to the base of Tad Soung we have to park in a minority village. Four of the village boys nominate themselves to guide us to the falls, which I'm sure we'll have to pay for but we consider it a parking fee. They lead us through their fields to the riverbed where we scamper across GIGANTIC boulders between swimming holes and mini waterfalls. The earth is actually purple here. How cool is that? At the base of the falls, we swim and play with the boys and they show us how to slide down the rocks on algae slicks. It's just the six of us and our trusty adventure dog playing in the shadow of the massive rock wall of the falls.
That's me down there!
When we get back to our bike, the wheel lock has definitely been messed with... But it's still here so we pay the kids and scoot on to find the top of this waterfall. From up here it feels like you can see to edge of the earth, if that were actually a thing.
That's me way over there!
Next and final stop, Tad Pasuan. Thankfully it's an easy one as daylight is fading. We crash at a homestay for a family meal instead of driving all the way to Pakse for the night.

That was awesome. 








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