Bound to Happen


Heading north, we share a taxi to Phnom Penh with seven people. You read that correctly, in a compact four-door car we have four across the back, two in the passenger seat and one driver. It used to be that they would squeeze one more person in beside the driver but that's illegal now so that's good... Technically there isn't supposed to be two in the passenger seat either (duhhhhh), so 50 yards from every police checkpoint, we pull over so that the second passenger seat guy can hop into the back, crouched behind the passenger seat. We have very different definitions of safety. But it wasn't the worst ride we've had and we made it safely so all's well that ends well. 


We're not thrilled to be in Phnom Penh. It's not nicest of cities and we met two people in the past week who have had their bags cut right off of them here. One who stated that she was the moron for having too much stuff in her bag because it was inevitable it would be stolen. That doesn't seem like the right mindset. We're warned about taking pictures as guys on motorbikes will whiz past and steal your phone/camera right out of your hands. Awesome, sounds fun. Needless to say, we're on edge and only carry $10, one phone, our room key and Chapstick.  


We're here because Tuol Sleng (S21) and The Killing Fields are here, and it's our duty as human beings to educate ourselves on the atrocities of the Khmer Rouge. I read "First They Killed My Father," in preparation for Cambodia and the author's account of the April 1975 forced evacuation of Phnom Penh is brought to life before me. And having been through the extreme heat of April, I'm amazed anyone survived the several day forced march out of the city, although many didn't. 

Our hotel is a mere ten minute walk to S21, formerly a school and converted by the Khmer Rouge into one of their most deadly secret interrogation prisons. It's in our neighborhood, looks just like any simple Asian schoolyard, and it's chilling to imagine the sounds of children playing turning into wails of agony that echo through the abandoned neighborhood. The depictions of the torture used on the 20,000 people who died here are truly vile. I will never understand how a human can do these things to another human. 

When we get back from S21, Ryan's noodle soup breakfast revealed its lovely gift of food poisoning. Yay! Thanks Cambodia! We head to the market for supplies and the clerk isn't blind to Ryan's sweaty green hue and pulls up a stool for him to rest while I quickly shop. It's not a fun 24 hours but he makes it through, and this is the first real bout of sickness on our travels.

Random observation: all of the laundromats are obsessed with being strong. If not a sumo wrestler with an iron it's Popeye with a can of spinach and an iron.

The bus from Phnom Penh to Battambang is interesting... The video entertainment switches between KTV love songs (karaoke TV) and bizarre love story movies. Let's just agree that KTV is the worst and be done with it. In the movie, this zen master man is beating the new woman who has come to work at his house. He roundhouse kicks her in the face and slaps her around all over the place; she's bruised and bloody and must be really terrible at housework. The bus is roaring with laughter through each of these beatings. Eventually the woman falls ill (versus needing hospitalization for abuse injuries) and the zen master man takes care of her. Then there's maybe thirty minutes of weird tension, barely there glances and voilà they are in love! Happily ever after and something that involved gold armored Knights and a dragon... Don't ask, I have no idea. 

Battambang is a cute little town with well intact colonial buildings. In fact, Angelina Jolie was just here using the town as a 1975 Phnom Penh for the movie of "First They Killed My Father." On our fist night out, Ryan spots a Cambodian guy with a Flyers hat on, asks, "where'd you get that hat," and is floored when a straight up North Philly accent answers him. Voe was born in a refugee camp in the Philippines, his brother was born in Thailand, and I can't remember where his sister was born. Point being, his family was one of the many Cambodian refugee families escaping the Khmer Rouge. The US resettled his family to the Badlands of North Philly, making it no surprise that he became involved in gang violence and landed in prison. I had no idea there is a Little Cambodia in Philly. In 1996 the US made an agreement to start sending refugees back starting with the "less desirables," the expulsions began in 2002. Individual consideration of cases for leniency of mental health issues, severity of crimes or familial ties no longer exist. So two years ago, after getting out of prison and reuniting with his family, Voe was deported to Cambodia, a place he's never set foot in, where he doesn't speak or read the language, separated from his family yet again. There are efforts to fight the 1996 Immigration Laws to keep families together, but for now, the deportees we met are rebuilding their lives here and have created a community for themselves. 
If you're lucky, you may stumble into a Jackie Chan movie showing at your local lunch spot. 

Now it's my turn to be sick. Yay! Thanks Cambodia! Truthfully, food here is absolute bleh, to the point where eating isn't something we care about and that's saying something. While I'm down and out, Ryan makes friends with the restaurant owners across from our hotel who make amazing western food. They are part of the really strong support community here. Everyone is about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, teaching/learning new skills and buying locally. It's really nice to see the homegrown sustainable aid working here. We treated ourselves to the Tapas night and among other delicious bites, we had a salad, a really delicious, fresh, flavorful, tons of veggies salad!! Salads do not exist over here and you'd be surprised how much you miss them. It was the best meal in Cambodia yet and the perfect bounce back after I was sick. 


We round out Battambang with a motorbike day with new friends and have a list of sites to see. The local hangout lake is first, walking through freshly turned dirt fields to our little bamboo thatch shack. And BOOM, the monsoon is upon us again. This shack provides zero protection and we're all soaked in minutes, so we might as well swim. The lake is warm and the rain is cold and it feels so good. The rain lasts a long while and the trek back through the fields is a messy one. We skip straight to the bat caves to see them go out for their evening meal. 

Wedding Crashers

Then there was that time where we showed up for an educational homestay experience and received way more than we bargained for... The Meas Family Homestay does amazing work with their community. They were wrecked by the Khmer Rouge like most and the ponds on the property are bomb craters courtesy of the USA. Since then they have built an English school for local children and a weaving studio that employs local women. An expat, Paul, has been living there for three years, excited about their sustainable approach to helping their community. He connects the local crafts with western needs (i.e. designers who want patterned fabric from the weavers or ceramic artisans to create vessels for homemade coconut oil). We talk with him about the confusing state of aid in Cambodia, the fake orphanages, the extreme corruption, and the handouts from foreigners basically teaching many Cambodians that they can't do anything for themselves anymore. It's a complex situation where foreign aid doesn't actually aid. But how do you say no to aid?

My first bike ride in 12 years!! I traumatized myself in a crash and have had paralyzing anxiety over bikes since... It was fun!
We stumbled in expecting to learn about the efforts for sustainable homegrown aid, the familial history and more, instead we were whisked into preparations for a 600 person wedding!! What?! Cambodian weddings are 1.5 days long and the prep is in full swing as we arrive the morning beforehand. Tents, chairs, tables, flowers, fruits, on-site catering and so much brightly colored soda are all over the property. And the sound system, oh my goodness the sound system!  Traditional Khmer music is blaring and every 15 minutes there's a mic check of, "Ello? Ello? Ello? Elloooooo? Ello?" 

The first night of the ceremony is a smaller group of family and friends. The wedding outfits for the bride, groom and bridesmaids are all rented as they change these super fancy outfits multiple times for different ceremonies. After the festivities of night one, we help prep for the Fruit Walk the next morning. This involves creating fruit trays wrapped in cellophane with red stickers on top, folding and filling red boxes with treats and stuffing red envelopes with 800 Riel ($0.20) for each guest. The Fruit Walk begins at 6am where guests line up along the road to carry in the fruit baskets and red boxes as offerings. To begin the walk at 6am, the bridal party with their beauty team starts getting ready on our porch at 3:30am, literally two feet from our bed. And that sound system with traditional music, ohhhhhh man, it's up and running to get you into the party mood. "Ello? Ello? Ello?" Not a wake up call we were prepared for. 

This is 6:30am... We were "late" to the Fruit Walk. 

Our team is ready for breakfast! 

After eating, most people head home to rest, change outfits and come back for a fancier lunch and then again for an even fancier dinner. There's a lot of sitting around in between while the couple in the marriage tent are given blessings, go through many ceremonies and are entertained with musicians and comedians. The beauty team was still on our porch after breakfast so as we headed in for our own rest, this sassy man took hold of my hair and gave me the best updo of my life in under ten minutes with his whole crew looking on. Oh yes, he crimped it all first! He also came back for dinner as a she in a fabulous black gown. 

Nails and hair all done, it's time for lunch.
After lunch, the beauty team comes at me again for makeup and with my borrowed ensemble I almost fit in. All of the ladies look amazing in their dresses and handbags. 
Check out the fake eyelashes about a 1/4" above my lash line...
Sidenote: Two months later, we loop back through Chiang Mai and see our Thai mom Binh. I share these pictures with her and she immediately started smoothing out the lines on my forehead! Guess my expressive forehead isn't part of Thai beauty standards. She also named Ryan "King Kong."
The dress and makeup were too much for me after several hours in the insane June heat. 
The dancing went late into the night. Line dances, traditional dances and crazy electronic dances. While practically the whole village is invited, by the end of the night, less fortunate children were running around collecting cans for recycling and food to eat themselves and no one shooed them away.

We eventually call it quits and head back to our room. I'm in undies only, getting ready to shower, and see some food crumbs on the floor. Ants are a big issue around here so I partially open the door and toss the crumbs outside. As I do so, this creature comes running out of the black crevice between the wall and our bed towards me. It's a big spider with its front legs up in attack mode!! I don't do spiders... Spiders take me to a crazy jumpy hyperventilating place. So naturally I fling the door WIDE OPEN, exposing my almost naked self to the party, as I jump over the spider and onto the bed screaming for Ryan who's in the shower. Realizing this very modest culture probably doesn't appreciate my nakedness, I cover up while keeping an eye on my attacker. The spider goes up the wall and behind the curtain and I'm losing my mind that I can't see it anymore. Ryan comes to my rescue, shakes out the curtains and can't find the spider. I CANNOT handle that. I investigate from afar with a flashlight until I can show Ryan the eyes shining back at me and he takes care of business. I understand this to be animal cruelty, but spider-crazed Beth is another person entirely who cannot be reasoned with. 

Irrational fears aside, it's hard to absorb all that we saw and learned in such a short time. What a whirlwind! Such a good time! 


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